Bob Wiley would have us believe there are two types of people in this world: those who love Neil Diamond and those who hate Neil Diamond. The ND is one of those rare circumstances where it is one or the other with little grey area. I for one am the exception, and am mostly indifferent. Though if given the choice between Coming to America and Seger's Hollywood Nights, the Seager wins it over and over and over. I don't know how Lynda feels about Neil Diamond or Bob Seger, but I would bet she loves Seger. No, our differences lie much, much deeper.

A few years ago I was told that there are people out there, terrifying as it might be, that don't like Ginger Ale.

Take that in a little.

I know it's hard.

I nearly feinted.

Lynda equates it with being sick, in that the only time she really drank ginger ale was when her stomach was upset. This upset my stomach. Anyone that knows me knows that I eat, sleep, and breathe... drinking ginger ale. When people ask me, "If you were trapped on a desert island...?" I always answer, quick as possible, "Schwepps Dry Grape Ginger Ale!"

Generally it's a question about a book, or CD or some stupid shit. But for the record, I would probably take The Count of Monte Cristo and probably the Sufjan Stevens' album that Pergo just sent me, Come On, Feel the Illinoise, cause I am totally into it. Though I really want to re-read Lois Lowry's The Giver, and maybe Jeff Buckley's Grace, but who knows. I always answer ginger ale, cause it's my favorite thing.

However, I am super conflicted. Lynda is my favorite new thing, but ginger ale has never let me down. She feels about ginger ale the way I feel about orange marmalade. She can't eat when it's on the table. Gross out city. Ginger ale! Come on! So when we go to dinner, I have to go without a cool, frosty glass of the GA. I like it in a chilled mug. She told me that ginger beer was okay, and I had to school her in the fact that ginger beer is never okay, except in a dark & stormy.

Instead of drinking ginger ale with dinner, she has me drinking wine, or beer or whatever. I think really she is just trying to get me all drunk so she can do things to me.

This doesn't mean I like ginger ale any less. It just means I am drunk more.